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Post by Reyn on Aug 14, 2009 17:55:04 GMT
Note: Revealing spell written by TerryAnother note: I take no responsibility for 80s music songs becoming stuck in your head.
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Temporal Death
Witch
Shadows Cast: 12
Wiccah.[ss:Shadow Tales: Recast]
Posts: 521
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Post by Temporal Death on Aug 15, 2009 12:00:39 GMT
Alright, I'm not going to comment on each and every scene, but I really love how you're bringing in more description into the script. Perfect examples would be the setting in Phoebe's near-sex dream and Arcyan before the opening credits.
Another thing I loved was the different perspectives you brought in when the Stalkers were attacking their victims, as well as Phoebe's "double screening".
As mentioned, not the most exciting episode, but interesting as we get Piper's flashbacks as well as the scene with Arcas' cauterizing. Poor Phoebe. Speaking of, the scene where Caollain and Ryan discuss him coming clean to the sisters was well written and had me chuckling (despite knowing the outcome).
The Jackie-Piper scene was touching, and Sheridan was a real bitch (yeah yeah, that coming from me sounds all hypocritic). I'd have liked her to be harassed by a Stalker, if not killed or severly injured. You really made me feel for Jackie/Sheridan in a way though; will little things we say or do and pass off as fun come back ten (or nine) years later and bite us in the ass? Had me thinking, for a fraction of a second. But eh. As long as people don't have one of those spell books I'm safe, eh?
I'd like to know about Jackie's fate though. Deleted scene perhaps?
And I can't wait to read a Prue vs Phoebe smackdown, especially with Madame E intervening.
Gimme 2.15 now!
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Post by Reyn on Aug 15, 2009 12:23:14 GMT
Glad to hear you enjoyed the description - with the episode clocking in at the longest page count yet, I was worried it would be too heavily weighed down. Knowing you found the description worthwhile makes me happy. Arcyan eh? How about Rarcas?  The Caoilainn and Ryan scene was one of the first things I wrote, because it was the scene I was most looking forward to writing. The cauterization scene was written after it. Glad both stood out for you. Sheridan was a real piece of work - and I debated killing her off. But I wanted Piper to have her confrontation with her, so she was kept alive for that. That's not to say she won't end up dead soon, though  Jackie will be returning in an upcoming episode! She'll have a guest starring role. Where she ends up and who she ends up working with is quite intriguing... The Prue vs. Phoebe smackdown is pretty explosive. Not at first, but with Madame E's interference the two get rather heated. And you don't even want to know what Prue does to Ryan... Awesome review, Brandon! And the first one too! Don't you feel all SPESHUL? |
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Temporal Death
Witch
Shadows Cast: 12
Wiccah.[ss:Shadow Tales: Recast]
Posts: 521
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Post by Temporal Death on Aug 15, 2009 14:31:05 GMT
Well worded description is always a treat.
Looking forward to more of Jackie. It's either the Kalls or Madame E.
As for what Prue does to Ryan, hold your tongue, that's one thing I want unspoiled so that I can laugh while reading. |
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Lexi
Warlock
Shadows Cast: 51
[ss:FFotM July - First Born]
Posts: 203
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Post by Lexi on Aug 19, 2009 19:03:35 GMT
When I first read the quote in your banner from this episode I was so excited to start reading since I thought my speculations were right on the whole Pharcas thing but then I realised that it was all a dream and Phoebe had to wake up to not knowing whether Arcas was alive.
I love the detail that you put into Ryan’s first scene. I could picture his injuries perfectly and have to wonder what’s going to happen now and will he be found by anyone or will it all be too late?
I really like that you’ve kept Piper’s insecurities over her time at high school and that Prue was still head cheerleader, class president and all that jazz. It made more sense to their characters and how Piper was always played mediator and Prue was always in control.
Phew! Candice showed up. If I’m honest, I completely forgot about her but I’m glad that it was her since it leaves more questions about when the sisters will find out about Ryan and how. I’m still intrigued to learn more about the Academy too so I hope that will come up soon.
Having a flashback of Piper at high school was perfect and the best way to portray what she was like back then. I really liked that and it was something that Charmed missed out on.
I’ve got to say though, the more of this I read the more I realise how much description you’ve put into the script and much more than usual. I enjoy being able to picture something so clearly but I also have to say that it takes you away from what is actually going on at times.
Oh, I really thought Phoebe was going to find out that Arcas was Ryan for a minute and then Candice stops it from happening…I so can’t wait for the truth to come out, mainly because I would love to see the conversation between Prue and Phoebe when they realise they care for the same man.
Wow, almost half way through the episode and this is the first sign of something supernatural happening. I knew Macy’s attack would turn out to be something though and I’m starting to wonder whether something is attacking that group of friends. It seems about the right time with the reunion so close and there must be a reason why Sheridan wanted the reunion a year early.
Ok, so what does Leo know about the Order? Why did the ring spark his interest? So many new questions…
Right, I’ve gotten to the third commercial break but really have to get on with some house work so will get back to this soon but I thought I would place the review up with what I have so far and then edit it when I get back.
Edit: Right, I’m back to review the rest of the episode.
I’ve got to say that I smiled when I saw Darryl show up in the episode. I can’t remember him being in the last one and for him to be involved in a new case that will probably involve the Charmed Ones. I can’t help but wonder when he will find out about the sisters and what his reaction will be like.
Some of this episode reminds me of a Supernatural episode when it went back to showing Dean and Sam in high school, all about a high school kid that wanted revenge on everyone that picked on him. I can see this episode turning out that way with Jackie wanting revenge on all the popular girls but in a way I’m hoping you’ve gone for something a little less predictable.
I do like, however, that you’ve kept with continuity and mentioned the Shadow Realm once again and have these creatures come from there. Also, that they’re neutral, only doing what their master commands of them.
I was disappointed to find out that it was Jackie after all, its was just a little too predictable. I’m sorry, I’m just being honest. I did however love that Piper learnt a lesson from all this and explained that to Prue near the end. I like how it goes back to something they learnt in the original show (and something I wished they would have remembered) that their powers are for protecting the innocent, not punishing the guilty.
I wondered for the whole of Ryan and Caoilainn’s scene about whether he was really talking about Prue or Phoebe. I’m glad that it was Prue but I am really waiting for how the two sisters react when Ryan tells them the truth. Will that be the next episode or a couple down the line? I’m also looking forward to seeing how the Council will react.
A wonderful cliffie that you left us with there at the end. What more does Madame E know about Ryan and the Kalliath? Will she be the one to let the Charmed Ones know who Ryan is or will Ryan get there first?
I’m really looking forward to more from this alternate season. You’re doing great work, Tasha.
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Post by Reyn on Sept 6, 2009 4:24:45 GMT
Thanks for your comments, Lexi! 2.14 has been a work in progress for a long time, and I'm very happy that finally it is out and I can see what people think. Your reviews and comments are always very detailed and helpful, and I love reading them - so thank you! Some replies: Pharcas appears to be quite the popular couple! I'm not sure what it is about them exactly that makes them a favourite, but I have to admit that over the last few episodes, they have grown on me. There is definitely a lot of Pro Pharcas in the upcoming travel to the future episodes, and of course there will be some Phoebe/Ryan discourse in the next episode (2.15) due to its subject matter. You'll definitely be learning more about the Academy in upcoming episodes - 2.16 is heavily Academy focused - and that episode will introduce new characters as well as provide a lot of information about exactly what the Academy is and it's reasons for existing. (Or, more technically - and this is a spoiler so beware! - I should say you'll learn about that particular Academy, as there are several Academies scattered around the world). Happy to hear you enjoyed the flashbacks - they were one of my favourite parts as well - and as you mentioned Charmed didn't explore the sisters' past very much, so it was enjoyable to go back and show what they would have been like (in my mind, at least). I find flashbacks and past lives and alternate futures fascinating subjects to explore, so there will always be room for them in BAM. Thank you for your comment about the description - I definitely described things a lot more than I have in previous episodes, and I was wondering whether I still maintained the balance between enabling the reader to picture things in their mind, and keeping the reader 'in' the writing. From your comment I see that there was perhaps too much description - so I'll keep that in my mind when editing the upcoming episodes, to make sure the description isn't too heavy. Ahh - the conversation between Phoebe and Prue once the truth is out! Should be quite explosive! Although, I'm not sure that the conversation will take place in the same episode that the girls find out about Ryan. I might have that particular issue stew between the two before anything is done about it - peak the tension up a bit I hope you like the questions being raised (re: how does Leo know the Order and why was the ring so important to him) and that the answers being provided are a nice balance between those questions. I've tried to answer a few questions whilst also asking a few questions, so that there aren't dozens of unanswered questions, which lead to more questions and it just goes on and on... Having said that, 2.15 will answer a lot of questions - it's a huge episode with a lot of content! Poor Darryl! His scenes keep being cut during the last editing stage! In 2.13 he had around 5 scenes and was involved in a whole B plot, but because that episode was already way too long, he got cut and the B plot removed completely  He's back now, though - and he should be a regular for the next few episodes leading up to his big scene. I always thought he was an under-used character in Charmed - and I can't wait to get into the more meatier plot-lines for him. No need to apologise about being honest! I appreciate your honesty. Interestingly, I hadn't even thought about the Supernatural episode (and I don't think I saw it until after I'd written most of the episode) but now that you mention it, I see the connection. Weirdly, during the conceptual stage of the episode planning, I was trying to meld some issues that appear in a few season 1 Buffy episodes together to create something different - and I hadn't even though of the Supernatural episode! I can see how the baddie being Jackie could be predictable (and I had hoped it wouldn't be that predictable) but in the end I wanted her to be the victim, allowing Piper the opportunity not only to stand up to Sheridan and have her 'moment', but also realise that it isn't up to the girls to punish the guilty (something that she had previously thought differently about as evidenced by her dismissal of the 'baddie' in 2.08. I guess it goes to show your thoughts change when it's someone you know personally). I also felt sorry for Jackie in the end - her prom flashback got me all emotional (i'll admit it, I teared up when re-reading it). I will say that this isn't the end for Jackie - she'll be around in upcoming episodes So that, at least, will distinguish her from the Supernatural baddie The whole Prue/Ryan/Phoebe issue will underly a lot of the remaining episodes, and of course Madame E will be playing up the tension as much as possible. Episode 2.15 deals with the tension from a Prue/Ryan and Phoebe/Ryan perspective, but the sisters won't actually talk about the issue until a few episodes later. And as for the Council - they are not going to be pleased with Ryan at all. He'll be lucky if he's still Phoebe's protector. Very happy to hear you are enjoying the episodes, Lexi! I hope that you'll enjoy 2.15 as much - it does include a lot of the things you want answers to Thanks, Lexi! |
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Dark Witch.
Witch
Shadows Cast: 7
id never given much thought to how i would die...[ss:Shadow Tales - Halloween 2008]
Posts: 671
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Post by Dark Witch. on Sept 26, 2009 5:47:47 GMT
-I like the scene between Phoebe and Arcas, granted it was a dream, it was nice to see that Phoebe does truly love Arcas. But that little triangle that you created is going to be hard to clean up like I said lol. I wonder if Ryan is going ot make it...he seems to be in a lot of pain. And he seems to be losing a lot of blood. Since we dont know his kind, we don't know if you has miraculous healing abilities or if he is human like everyone else...interesting. Ah, I see you are putting Piper's reunion at Alchemy...how very Season 3 of you lol. I like how you incorporated the thought of Piper's not so friendly person in high school and nickname and stuff. Since you telling me how you work on these episodes, I now see how you do it. So I applaude you on not just this little thing, but the whole season and how you incorporated Charmed episodes  . I like Piper's tune on the whole Phoebe Arcas situation, and also, I like how you had Piper tell Prue that she forgets she is just the sister, which is true. Though she acts more like a mother than a sister, Prue is sort of the "Matriarch" of the family lol. I never understood why Prue got so defensive, I mean, what was the harm in Phoebe contacting Ryan? lol. I don't see what the problem is, yet Prue wants her to not contact him? Sort of weird... I like how all of a sudden the people who know him start calling him Ryan. It is really cool to see how they all start to blend together these worlds that we thought were excludng these people now all of a sudden play a big role in the witch story. Very well done. Now as for the cauterizing of the wound, that was something I was not expecting, very well done, and this is something Charmed would never do, which was what was so cool about it. Very well done. I like the flashback, ironic since I talked to you about a flashback episode myself...lol. I like how we see the Charmed Ones when younger as opposed to them being in the now state that we see them in. Very nicely done. I like the Piper and Prue scene, as i told you, I always love your scenes with those two, very nicely done, as always AHHHHH! Phoebe was *this* close to finding out that is was Ryan. Darn, I wanted to see what would happen, oh well, i guess we will find out sooner or later. Ryan can't play Hannah Montana forever lol. Just letting you know, in the Candice and Phoebe scene, you call Candice, Caoliann. Hmmm, I wonder wat Prue thinks happened. Was it an attack, he got hurt and he cleaned himself up, or does she think it is all in her head? I wonder where you shall go with this... Hmmm, so there is a demon involved in this episode...I wonder what the demon's deal is. Interesting! Can't wait to know more... PRUE! Errrr, why is she so difficult? She is being WAY more than overprotective, she is on the verge of obsessiont o keep from letting him be okay. I get she doesn't trust him, but Andy wasn't much better of being a secret keeper and Piper and Phoebe werent that into telling him either. I like ME's talk of what the sisters a re like which is very ture. In this season you make it very love oriented, which is nice since some of the sister's didn't have love interests in some seasons. But as I said, it was nice to hear that little soap opera joke, very nice I like this flashback too, it was like us seeing how a regular high school is, but of course boosted up a little, I don't see things like that...or maybe that's cause I am kinda popular?... Haha, the thing with Jackie wanting Leo is hilarious! If only she knew... That is sooo mean! It reminds me of Carrie at the prom...but that is really sad...I feel so bad for Jackie, for I have known people like that, and I have been that person who made my life a living hell. I feel so bad for her... I KNEW THAT WAS COMING! Ryan was not in love with Phoebe at all, and that he only loves Prue, which is sort of what I expected for he spent all this time with Prue, hell, he slept with Prue and so he kind of loves Prue and has more intimacy with Prue than he does Phoebe, but now I feel bad for her...she isn't going to make it with him...how very sad... I LOVE what you did to Sheridan, that was a great speech Piper made. Very nicely done. HAHA, I love when you had Phoebe speak of "Flashdance" once again Very funny. Sooo good! I can't wait to see the next episode! Great job Reyn, very well done |
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Ren
Innocent
[ss:RTM: Charmed - Valentine]
Posts: 41
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Post by Ren on Mar 15, 2010 5:26:36 GMT
Alright, to be completely honest, oftentimes I get so excited to dive right in to the actual episode, I go straight for that little html version option, and I click away without reading anything else. Generally I go back and look at all the pictures afterward, but I’m just too eager when I start to do it then. But this time around, the 80s music guide list caught my attention right away and I paused, haha. I was a little sad at first, when it hit me that this is the last episode there is for me to read, but that list brought an instasmile to my face. Niiice. And for the record, I most certainly do hold you responsible for the fact that reading the name alone has firmly lodged “Sunglasses at Night” in my head. Thanks for that. Really. Pfffft. Dream. You’re going to have to do better than that to get to me again, miss. I’m on to you and your wily ways . This is so weird though… I’ve had two completely different ideas of Ryan and Arcas in my head… their mannerisms, the way they speak… and now I have to find a way to combine the two together. Somehow. This is like one big giant mindf***, and I feel like you’re getting just a little bit too much pleasure out of it, lol. I’m really excited for this “Coyote Piper” tone. That is one of my favourite episodes… I remember grinning through the entire thing the first time I watched it, because Prue and Piper were so perfect, and so EXACTLY like my younger sister and I, I couldn’t even believe it. It was the first episode I made Jasmine watch when I went home my next break, because I knew she wouldn’t believe me until she saw it. When we got to Prue’s line, “Do you want me to beat them up for you? ‘Cause I’ll beat them up; one by one.” She cracked up just as much as I did. We’ve had the, “It was NOT that bad! I loved high school! It was fun! Seventeen was a great year!”……“Only because you were captain of TWO sports teams. It was a terrible place, I cried every day, and when I graduated, there were STILL people in my class who didn’t know my name” conversation more times than I can count. The references alone have put me in a great mood. Nicely put. Incredibly accurate. Prue is such a tough character for me, sometimes. I think she makes me uncomfortable, because a lot of the more negative parts of her personality ring a little too close to home. When I read a scene like this one, where she’s judging Phoebe so harshly, and even Piper’s “He saved our lives, Prue! The least we can do is make sure he’s okay!” line doesn’t make her give at all, I want to be annoyed with her. I want to see the logic in what Piper’s saying, the humaneness of it, and roll my eyes at Prue’s suspicion and indifference. But I can’t. Because while I would like to be the Piper/Phoebe, really, in that situation, I know I would 100% be the wary, sceptical force super reluctant to leave Phoebe to her own devices. Anyway, psychoanalytical time is over. Moving on. haha. Again, that perfect combination of drama and humour that makes the episodes. I’m glad Candice followed him over there. And she’s right; he really is an idiot. It’s going to be really bad though, when Prue shows up at Ryan’s place and finds all of the blood and none of the Ryan. The high school flashback is fantastic. Haha, everything from the description of Piper’s clothes, straight to the Irena Cara dig. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling once this scene. You make my face hurt pretty much every episode, lol. Girls like Sheridan suck. We can tentatively joke about it now, but my sister used to come home all the time with stories about those kind of crazy girls in her grade… it made me so angry. If she had punched just one of them, just once, it would have put an end to it all. To this day, I really wish she had. I’m calling the villain of this story to be pink sweater girl that Sheridan was picking on in the flashback. I knew you wouldn’t let Phoebe see that it was Ryan just yet. Tease . Gag. Shut up, Jackson. Just. Shut. Up. You don’t get to play comforter. Amanda getting gutted? Awesome. I love your blood spatter descriptions. They gross me out and make me smile at the same time. Just like the movies. ;D I feel so much sympathy for Jackie… I really do. What she did isn’t okay, but what they did to her isn’t okay either. My sister and I were only in high school together for a year, because of the three year gap between us, and she seemed to do okay that year, but the next year when I came back from University and her semester hadn’t ended yet, I remember her just bawling some mornings and begging my mom not to make her go to school. It made me wish more than anything that I was still in high school. Nobody has the right to make another person feel that way. People who are bitchy and rude and mean for no reason have got to be the easiest trigger for my temper. I'd like to think I'm a relatively good person most of the time, but people treating people who don't deserve it badly brings out a pretty ugly side of me. Uh oh. Ryan is going to be in big trouble when Prue sees all that scar tissue. I know she’s going to see it. This is going to get soooo messy! Bravo, Piper. There’s nothing more sad and pathetic than someone who can’t let go of high school. I mean, if you’re in your twenties and you’re still the same person you were when you were sixteen/seventeen, how can you possibly think that’s a good thing? It’s called emotional growth… most people strive for it. I cringe when I think of some parts to that version of me, and I think most people out there probably should too. Life goes on after high school, and you should let it. It’s sad that given how secretly proud Prue is of Phoebe right now, it’s all going to go to hell in a hand basket in a matter of weeks, maximum. Their relationship was so fragile, and they’ve just managed to find this tentative respect for one another, and now we’re going to have a smackdown on our hands. I cannot wait; they’re in so much trouble now. Madame Executive is hitting them where they are always, always the most vulnerable; on a human platform, not a supernatural one. I can’t wait to find out about Madame E’s time in the academy. Also, I’d like to know more about Arcas’ relationship with Cassandra. I misinterpreted the tension between them as a kind of quiet resentment, I didn’t realize that the two of them had been involved. I’m really dropping the ball with the reading between the lines lately. I’m so excited though!.... and also a little devastated, knowing that I now have to wait… perhaps I shouldn’t have burned through everything in the span of two and a half weeks. Damn it. I really enjoyed this episode… and you tackled a really grey area and handled it with a lot of grace. I loved the way Piper was able to step up after seeing what had become of Jackie. That she could be disgusted by Sheridan and come out of her shell. I feel like I’m going to spend a lot of time wincing come next episode though… hell hath no fury like a Prue scorned, intentionally or not. EDIT: I know... I've got to start saying my piece in one go instead of all this back and forth crap. But! I just read the webisode, and I wanted to comment on that too. 'Cause it was awesome. Unfortunately, now I'm just all the more eager to see the next episode. Ryan is so not going to heed Caleb's advice... I feel like it would be angsty and complicating if he forgot to get himself fully healed before seeing Prue, and since you loooove complicating complicated situations.... ;D. Also, no one is getting stuck permanently back in time. Pffft. You know who's not worried? This girl. There is always, always a way out. I'm not going to freak out about this. I'm not I'm not I'm not! |
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melindacharm
Future Whitelighter
Shadows Cast: 279
[ss:ST Anniversary: Phoebe & Piper]
Posts: 79
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Post by melindacharm on Aug 3, 2010 19:51:02 GMT
Reading now : ) DONE!!! Alot to say about the high school flashback. First very good description of both Prue and Piper. I agree, but for describing Piper it is a bit harsh. I mean maybe glasses and the books, and even the chess. However the pants and the shirt I think thats way to geeky. To me they depicted Piper more as an outsider, a loner if you would in school. Not the book nerd. Just someone who was more to themselves. What I loved alot was having the Andy thing introduced. I love ANDY!!. Sheridan is such a bitch. In high school and now. Just something ive noticed but very good portray. THE ACADEMY - MEDICAL WING - DARKENED ROOM - CONTINUOUS. That's nice of Candice to stop Phoebe. I wonder if Phoebe would ever talk to Arcas if she found out he was really Ryan lol. It is something hard to swallow in my opinion. INT. ALCHEMY - BAR - AFTERNOON Awww. I love Jackson, he'sw soo cute. However are you going to have him turn?. like the Ryan / Arcas thing!. So not fair : P. I hope you have something stored in there for Piper and Jackson. They would make an amazing couple. INT. ENTRANCEWAY - AFTERNOON. Oh.. I had a feeling you were leading up to something with the Amanda thing but I couldn't figure out what that was. It's interesting that someone is watching her.. Who shall it be??? hmmm... HALLWAY WALL - COLOR PERSPECTIVE HAHAH!! very good description. I can so picture that as a clip for a charmed opening of this season. It would be very you. THE ACADEMY - MEDICAL WING - DARKENED ROOM - MORNING. Im liking this episode more and more. I'm wondering is this the last episode ever or is there more to it?. Phoebe banks alot on Arcas. She knows his abilities, but just because someone is strong doesn't mean they are invincible. I think she is beating too much on the results knowing he will get there but she is not looking at the how he will get there. LOL!! so funny. I think my favourite character is Mme Executive. Very funny her attitude. Poor Jackie I feel so bad.. ALCHEMY - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT. That's so cool, Jackie a mortal is getting back at the popular kids. Please tell me your not going to save sheridan?, out of everyone her?. Please please, lets see.. All in all I like it very much. What's going on in this episode : ). I enjoy the thriller and like it when the charmedones are not untouchable. Wondering when the Executive will make her main attack face to face with the charmedones. Looking forward to it. APARTMENT BUILDING - DARKENED ROOM - CONTINUOUS. I have no words to compaire to the way Jackie is feeling, but I knew that feeling. It's horrible, and the worst thing about it is it's true. People live there whole lives without thinking about how there actions affect others but they do. Still it doesn't make things right. Jackie and no other person should have to feel that way. The way of being looked down upon. It is not right. Thats horrible!! What sheridan did to Jackie, I can't believe she would still be stuck up on the past to do something like that. Im sure she would have grown up by now. Apparently some people don't. Well done though.. HIGH SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS. So sad is all I can say. I feel for Jackie.. THE ACADEMY - MEDICAL WING - DARKENED ROOM - NIGHT. WHAT!!! why are you playing with our heads. Now you say Ryan loves Prue. Arcas is Ryan but Arcas loved Phoebe. Please tell me what the hell is going on.. So lost.  I loved Piper's comment, I would say that too if my friend was being picked on by a girl who think's she's a know it all like Sheridan. Serve's her right, finally got a piece of her own medicine. ABANDONED OFFICE COMPLEX - MAIN ROOM. |
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Post by soweird on Apr 9, 2011 11:30:54 GMT
I see Paige's picture on your site. Is she going to make an appearance? Will it be before season 4? Will she be the same Paige or have different story lines and powers?
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He's back now, though - and he should be a regular for the next few episodes leading up to his big scene. I always thought he was an under-used character in Charmed - and I can't wait to get into the more meatier plot-lines for him.
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